It seems authors often get
asked the same questions from one interview to the next. Not always, but a lot.
It was time, I decided, for a new approach. So, this interview is designed to
break out of the mold. On each of these questions, there is simply no right
answer. Let’s see just how creative these creative minds are! It’s all in fun,
of course. ~Karen
In this interview, I have subjected my co-author, PJ Hawkinson, to ludicrous but penetrating interrogation. Here are her answers:
1. When Stephen
King was last at your house, is it true you forced him to do common house
chores? Was he a good worker? Did he whine at all?
Did he whine? That man not only whined the whole time he was doing his chores, but he used mainly adverbs to do so. I didn’t even know there were that many adverbs.
2. Fill in the blanks:
The last time I bathed, Vernon told me that I needed to go home to take my baths. Was he serious? I’m not sure if he was serious or not. I only know two people named Vernon, one is dead and the other I haven’t seen in years.
3. What is the real significance of the following phrase and how does it relate
to Gilbert? The popcorn is not ready. (be specific please)
Round John Virgin put a quarter cup of popcorn into the pan along with some oil. But he failed to turn on the burner. Tonygor was crying and this disturbed Gilbert, causing him to have to leave his throne and reprimand RJV for upsetting his bat.
4. Do you deny that you once? Expound on your answer.
I absolutely do not deny that I once. It was a warm winter’s day; the trees were abloom with no green leaves and the flowers were not growing. I was strolling down the street (one day), in the merry, merry month of December, when I was taken by surprise and did.
5. We’ve written books together. When will we write the documents
required to start our own nation? What will they consist of?
We have? Written books together? Oh wait. I recognize you now. Well, the documents will consist of at least 2, or maybe 3, pages---size 40 font.
6. What are the first two sentences of the last paragraph on page
151 of our most recent novel?
As we haven’t written our most recent novel yet I will have to guess. Okay, here goes: The three travelers came upon the lake of a sudden. The male of the party was astounded. “How will we ever get across? Or, should we go around?” He looked expectantly at his two female companions, anxiously awaiting their response.
7. A fork and a
spoon were out on a date. Something happened to forever alter their
relationship. What was it? And did you play any part in the incident? If so,
what part? If not, why are you denying your culpability?
As the two were dancing a jig at a nearby honky-tonk, a knife had the audacity to cut in and whisked the spoon from the forks grasping tines. The fork was left with bent tines and ended up in a mental facility while the knife and spoon made tiny eating utensils over the next ten years.
Alas, I did play a part in the incident by accompanying the knife to the hip joint in the first place. So, of course, I hold no culpability at all.
8. Someone alleged that you ponder deep questions that are best
avoided. How will you prove this accusation false?
Excuse me. I cannot possibly answer this question at the time as I am pondering the depth of a well.
9. You are running late for an important meeting or appointment.
When you reach your vehicle, you discover a swan inside. How do you handle the
situation? And what was so important about your meeting?
Swans tend to enjoy a swim so I would quickly drag a fire hose over to my vehicle and fill the backseat high enough with water that the swan can be comfortable. Then I would jump into the dry front seat and hasten to my meeting, which is actually a committee meeting to decide what water fowl to have at our annual park lake picnic. I am leaning toward pigeons.
10. If Piers Anthony personally called you later today, what would
he want to discuss with you?
Xanth and the likelihood of our going there together. This in turn could lead to a conversation about gourds, nightmares and daymares, and a demon that can never quite pick the correct word she needs.
11. A gold crock pot, linear oak floorboards, and a priority flat
rate postage box. What particular feature do these items have in common?
They all have to be placed just so or they don’t work properly.
12. Sprockets, headphones, and ice trays?
I was listening to my headphones one day while I filled my ice cube trays. Not paying attention, I stepped into Sprocket’s food bowl and regret the day.
12. Do you realize this question is numbered inaccurately? What do
you make of that?
I see nothing out of the ordinary. I always use two number 12’s in every list I make.
12. This one is
too. What does this have to do with the menu you have planned for next week?
This is absurd. No one in their right minds would ever use three number 12’s in a list. Now I won’t be able to have steak, baked potatoes, and corn on the cob next week, which is unfortunate since I haven’t bought the food stuff yet.
PJ Hawkinson is half of the co-writing team Wodke Hawkinson. In addition to their books, she has published Half Bitten, a tale of vampire revenge. Her website is http://pjhawkinson.com/
In : Author Interviews
Tags: authors interviews books humor writing
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