It seems authors often get asked the same questions from one interview to the next. Not always, but a lot. It was time, I decided, for a new approach. So, this interview is designed to break out of the mold. On each of these questions, there is simply no right answer. Let’s see just how creative these creative minds are! It’s all in fun, of course. -Karen

Please welcome author, Renata F. Barcelos.

1. Where were you that night, and why?

Oh, I wish I could tell you, but then I’d have to kill you… But wait, I think I might have said too much already…!

2. Things have been said about you. This is your opportunity to respond to the most prevalent rumor and either refute it or confirm it.

You should be ashamed of yourselves, spreading such horrible rumors! Let me tell you something… What? Oh, that’s what’s being said? Hah! This is actually pretty nice, thank you guys! I guess I AM all those wonderful things, but it’s always great to hear it! 

 3. What is the real significance of the following phrase? Twenty-seven bricks laid in a horizontal pattern outside my front door. (be specific please)

Isn’t it obvious? Oh, if you don’t get it just by reading, I don’t think you deserve to know its significance…

4. Do you deny that a calculator was used last week? Expound on your answer.

Does the “word count” tool count as a calculator? If so, yeah, I’ve been using it as a maniac in my manuscript. (Why do we still call it ‘manuscript’ if it’s typed nowadays, by the way??) 

5. How many times has Davy called you for advice and what was the main theme during these conversations?

Well, ever since I helped him with the whole Ziggy Stardust thing in the seventies, he never let me rest… The guy’s incapable of releasing a song without asking me for advice… Since Iman is a little jealous of our special bond, I’ll not specify how many times we talked on the phone. (a LOT)

6. What’s the fourth sentence on page 132 of your novel? If it’s really short, please include the next sentence as well.

My published book is a novelette of 50 pages, but I’ll tell you the fourth sentence on page 132 of my soon-to-be-released novel, My Sore Hush-a-bye:

“Maybe I’m so used to it, I just enjoy suffering.”

7. Is it true you were born in a stubbled field outside a curing barn in Kentucky on a cold December night while a full moon mocked your cries? If not, why is it not true?

 Curiously, the only part that’s not true is Kentucky!

 8. Do you prefer to use 2x4 studs or 2x3 studs in a closet renovation? Explain your reasoning and how this concept is intricately related to your writing.

Are you kidding? 2x4, obviously. There’s no other option. 2x3… I’d never be able to write a word again if I used 2x3! Why? Well, there’s a very logical explanation for it, and you’ll find it out reading my books. (Between the lines, of course)

9. Do you really think it was proper to put your great-aunt’s bloomers in your last garage sale? Go ahead, defend your actions. More importantly, how much did you get for them?

Wait, what bloomers are we talking about? The bread, the plant or the underpants? Oh, never mind, I sold them all… Do you want to buy any? I’m sure I can’t get more, she’s never paying attention when I’m there.

10. If Stephen King personally called you later today, what would he want to discuss with you?

He usually calls me asking for advice every night, but I told him to stop. I said, “Stephen, darling, you must write on your own, I’m not going to help you anymore…” Then the alarm went off and I woke up.

11. If your least favorite relative showed up unannounced to stay with you for a week, how would you handle it? On a related issue, if my unemployed cousin, Bert (who has an aversion to bathing & remorselessly hogs the TV remote) shows up to visit you, how will you handle that?

Hi! If you’re hearing this, that’s because I’m not at home. Please leave your message after the beep, and just go away if you’re at the door. I’ll be out for a long time, don’t bother waiting!!

 12. What adjective are you most partial to? Which one do you despise?

I think adjectives are beautiful, great, amazing, wonderful, pretty gorgeous words. How to despise the little extraordinary things?

12. Do you realize this question is numbered inaccurately? What do you make of that?

If I said I did, I’d look smart, but I don’t think anyone would believe it…(We already know you're smart, Renata. After all, you are one of our ilk: an author! Thank you for taking part in our silly interview. -K)

        Renata F. Barcelos

Author Bio:

Renata F. Barcelos lives in Brazil with her beautiful and creative daughter and teaches English and Spanish as Second Languages. She loves dark, twisted and flawed characters and stories.
She watches way too much TV and reads perhaps too many (almost exclusively) mystery novels, convincing herself it’s all work—research for her own stories. She has written for as long as she can remember, and her other stories are waiting impatiently to be published. Her next book is coming soon, a coming-of-age mystery novel called My Sore Hush-a-bye. Renata’s blog:


Cassandra Connelly looks like a normal twenty-four-year-old girl. She seems sweet and shy. She works hard in two jobs and still finds time to do volunteer work. Nonetheless, there's something wrong within her. She has a lot of anger boiling inside, and a very problematic past, making her a dark, twisted woman.
She hides her true self from the world, but there's someone Cassandra hates so much, she has been thinking of doing something unspeakable: killing this person.
To her, killing this person is absolutely necessary, for he or she should not be alive. However, since she is still not sure about doing it or not, she seeks help. She goes to a psychiatrist in order to make a decision: should she continue hiding her meanness and being a normal girl, or should she let the meanness win and kill this person she believes deserves to die?

In this contemporary piece of fiction, we'll find out how badly child abuse and a dysfunctional family can transform a life for worse, much worse. Mean is a novelette (longer than a short-story but shorter than a novella).


Purchase Mean on Amazon